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Looking at the rollercoaster of family life from baby to adult and everything in between

Wednesday 12 February 2014

My ex drives me mad!

When does an ex really become ex? (ex-files#1)

I have been divorced for many years now so why does my ex still have the power to drive me to distraction and why do we have conversations that end with me appearing to be the childish unreasonable person when he is totally in the wrong? When we first separated we were the perfect divorced couple but that was because nothing in our relationship had changed; he came and stayed with me and the children at weekends, I had total responsibility for all matters to do with family, he could just dip in and out when it suited. Now I hate him being in my home and feel he should be able to take responsibility for his own relationship with the children but this means that he continues to pick and choose when to be a father and never seems to put them first. Every so often he'll have a 'daddy day' and phone them or me to find out how school is but then that will be it for weeks. When things go wrong it's all my fault and he has a knack of making me feel like a bad parent.

People tell me that I more than make up for his shortcomings and the children are happy and doing well but it seems so unfair. They deserve more and so do I; it isn't fair that all the decision making is my responsibility, it isn't fair that I am always the nagging parent, it isn't fair that I am always the parent worrying where they are at night, it isn't fair that he forgets their birthdays, it isn't fair that they don't hear from him for weeks at a time and don't even know where he is. But what really isn't fair is that he then makes me behave like the spoilt child!

How do you handle your ex?

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